


Dear Diary

by JoJustice



Category: Ghost Hunt
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ghosts, Horror, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Psychic Abilities, Romance, Shibuya Psychic Research, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:34:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoJustice/pseuds/JoJustice
Summary: STORY STILL IN PROGRESS, WEBSITE DOESN'T ALLOW ME TO MARK IT AS SUCHYuki is a boy with an unfortunate lot in life.(! the beginning of the story is supposed to be written badly!)WARNINGMentions of suicide and other disturbing thingsI also apologise in advance for any wrong information about the show, Japan or life i. general. All I can go on is Google info.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> the beginning of the story is supposed to be written badly

I dont knou how I’m suposd to start. Sister Mari told me to just write what I think, and l feel better. I don’t know how talking to paper will help me. Shes strange shes from Irrland I think. I’m bord and hungry.

xxx

My name is Yuki. Just Yuki. I’m a boy. Not a girl. Im 7.

xxx

I ask Mari where Toru went with the man she says Toru who. Toru my friend. She makes me sad. She says I should talk to the other orphans instead of Toru. I’m sad.

xxx

I talked to Toru this morning. She say the man was lonely so she became friends. I ask if I can be friends. She say yes but the man is already gone. I ask wehre. She say he went in the forest. I say we ar not allowed in the forest. She say she knows but he needed a friend so she went with him. I’m jelos.

xxx

I hit Mirou with a rock. He was saying I’m a girl but I’m not. Sister Mari made me wash the back porch.

xxx

Tomorrow I’ll go to school fot the first time ever!!!!

xxx

I met a boy named Takashi!!! I’ll call him Taka !!! I like him !!! We are gonna be friends !!!good friends forever !!!!

xxx

The kids from my orphanage are telling the kids from school that Im a girl and I hate them I whish they die all of them

xxx

Taka is nice !!! he doesent care I love him

xxx

Sister Mari read you. She scolded me and made me wash the back porch again. I don’t like her. Shes mean. She doesn’t scold the others when they call me a girl but she is mean to me when I say I want them to go away!!!

xxx

Toru visited me again. I’m sad because she can’t stay long. She says not to tell Sister Mari about her. Im sad. School is boring. Taka is nice. I love him.

xxx

I’ve been learing how to spell. I’m getting better. I hit Mirou with a rock again. He has a blue forehead now. I hate him.

xxx

Mirou disappeared. I asked Sister Mari but she got angry with me. I swept the leafs on the porch again.

xxx

Mirou is back. He isn’t mean anymore. He is silent. He just stares into nothing and cries sometimes. I’m sad for him. At least he isn’t mean to me anymore.

xxx

Toru came again and we went into the forest because it was too hot and the forest is cold. Not a lot cold but more cold. Toru says its because of the shade and moss on the trees.

xxx

Me and Toru went on an adventure!!! It was so cool!!. We went to the forest because it was hot because of summer and we played around a lot and there were other kids there and they were wearing dirty clothes but they were very nice.

I ask them where they lived and they said right there and I said that they can come back to the orphanage with me but they said they cant so I said ok.

They showed me a small small river and a small small waterfall and it was very cool!! The whole forest has moss on the floor and its like when you put blankets and pillows in the closet and sit in there!!!

I had so much fun it was suddenly night and then it was dark and scary but Toru and the other kids said to no worry and it was ok

I slept on moss and it was very soft!!! I love the forest!!!!!

Sister Mari got so angry when I came in the morning and said I was dirty and she was mean to me and she made me wash the porch again!!!

xxx

I’m learning a lot at school but its so so boring I want to sleep during class. I’m in 2nd grade now and the other kids are being mean again and say I’m dumb because I’m 10 and in 2nd grade and I’m too old but I’m not dumb. I hate them.

I like when we do ‘Arts & Crafts’. I like to paint and cut and glue. I hate math. I don’t understand it. Sister Mari sometimes comes to teach us ‘English’ but its hard and I don’t like it .

I like Aizawa–sensei because he looks like a tree in the forest. He is tall and has big hair and I like him because he teaches me how to write and I like his stories. He is very nice to me.

xxx

I turn 12 today.

I’m sad. I haven’t seen Toru in months and I’m sad.

Takashi gave me an earring when we met in the morning – he said it was for my birthday. I love him. I love the earring. He said he found it on the playground. It’s a green stone and it’s wrapped in what Takashi says is silver. He says it reminded him of my eyes. I love him. He said my hair was pretty, so I let it grow. My asshole classmates keep calling me a girl because my hair touches my shoulders, but Taka likes it, so I won’t cut it.

Sister Mari seems annoyed. I don’t like her, so I don’t care.

xxx

Sister Mari is very angry with me. I told her I won’t cut my hair no matter what because Taka likes it. She got so angry,it’s ridiculous!

She told me boys shouldn’t have long hair. She told me I’m not allowed to love Taka. I called her a bitch and she slapped me. How come when the other kids call me names, they get away but when I defend myself, I get slapped? It’s not fair! She made me wash the porch with a rag on my hands and knees.

On another note, Taka’s moving schools. He’ll be moving to Tokyo soon because his mom got a job or something. I hate her. She’s taking him away from me and I’ll be all fucking alone!

xxx

I haven’t seen Toru for a very long time.

I tried going into the forest a couple of times, but I was either stopped by passing people or didn’t get very far because the markings on the trees weren’t very clear. A lot of people are telling to not stray from them, but Toru doesn’t show up in a week, I’ll go searching.

xxx

I’m lost. I went into the forest and I thought I heard her laugh. I thought I heard Toru. I ran towards the sound but nothing!

There was nothing!

Just trees, moss and uneven ground.

I almost twisted an ankle!

There’re so many holes covered by the thick vegetation that the forest floor could be a block of cheese! I don’t know how I never noticed them when I was young.

I wonder if those kids I met are still around… I hope so… Otherwise I might be lost here forever!

Right now, I’m in a tent I found while I was trying to find my way back. There’s a flashlight and a bottle of water. It’s lucky I carry you everywhere I go, otherwise I’d be bored out of my mind and probably feeling lonelier than I already do!

It’s dark out. Very dark. It shouldn’t be this dark right now, but the leaves above my head seem to be too thick for sunlight to break through.

There’re sounds coming from he dark. I don’t think there’s any monsters here, but I’m still scared to go out. I really need to pee.

xxx

I’m safe!

A couple of tourists passing by saw me when I went to pee – talk about embarrassing. I don’t really know what they were saying since English is hard, but old man Inari – he owns the inn next to the forest – told me they thought I was a spirit! Freaking hilarious! I was struggling so hard not to laugh at them, but I don’t think I did a good job since he hit me with a slipper. Live and learn?

I got home around noon time. Sister Mari was PISSED. I’m grounded for the month: as in, wash the porch every other day and just sit in the dormitory doing NOTHING. So boring.

There was a guy who came to visit me though. Sister Mari said he was the owner of the orphanage. He was tall and blond– American. He wore dark clothes with a strange collar and a crucifix. He was kind.

“Why did you go in there?” he asked me. His voice was deep, soft, velvety. It reminded me of melting chocolate.

“I was searching for my friend. No one wanted to help me, and I had to find her.”

“It’s good you care so much about your friend.” He said. “ But you have to be more careful. Do you know why nobody is allowed to stray off the forest paths?”

I think I blushed. I don’t know why but I did.

“It’s because the forest is dangerous. The trees are easy to get lost into- “

“Tell me about it!”

I remember Sister Mari throwing me a glare from the doorframe. She was standing there, watching us like I’d try to kill the guy or something.

“And there are spirits in there that want to harm you.”

“Spirits? Harm me? Why?”

“They’re evil spirits, ghosts and ghouls of people who went in there and got lost. They’re sad and angry all the time, Yuki, so they like to make others feel the same.”

“But…That’s very mean of them. If they’re sad why should I be?”

“Yuki… Just don’t go in there. It’s not safe.”

I promised him I wouldn’t.

Since then I’ve just been hanging about the orphanage, doing this and that to try and entertain myself. I even made a hole in my left ear to fit the earring Taka gave me. It hurt like hell, but it was totally worth it! It looks so cool!

Sister Mari tried to make me take it out, but I bit her. Yeah. Not my proudest moment, but I wasn’t about to hand it over to her!

She made me clean up the whole boy’s dormitory while the others were at school. On the upside, I found a magazine with some half-naked women under Izuna’s mattress. It’s a bit nasty but I love their clothes! So stylish – some of them – and they look so cool in the poses they’re making – some of them. I’m definitely not giving it back.

Tomorrow night I’m visiting Taka. I’ll sneak out so nobody’ll know I’m even gone! Sister Mari goes to sleep around 22:30 every day and the rest of us have a 22:00 curfew – more of a suggestion, if you ask me. I’ll just climb out the window really quick and be back in a blink! Like one of those kids in the TV shows my roommates like to watch! They always get off scot-free!

The day after Tomorrow Taka leaves for Tokyo… I’m very sad.

xxx

I love him. I love him so much with all my heart and my soul. I would do anything for him. I love him so much and I’m so sad that he has to go.

He kissed me.

xxx

There’s an emptiness inside of me that is growing with every breath I take.

It’s like an icy flame that is spurred on by my inhales, eating hungrily at my happiness, clawing through my veins so painfully that I sometimes go numb.

I’m not hungry anymore.

Ever.

I’m just cold.

I’m so cold.

I want to cry but I can’t.

I’m freezing.

xxx

Math is shit. English is shit. My classmates are shitheads. I HATE SCHOOL!!!

xxx

I think the orphanage is haunted. There’s bangs in the middle of the night, like someone is knocking on the walls and windows! The other boys are terrified! I’m terrified!

Sometimes the cupboards in the kitchen open by themselves! There’s flying saucers – and not the alien kind! I almost got hit in the face by a bowl of rice!

People are being pushed down the stairs by invisible hands. It’s good we only have 2 floors, but it’s still horrible!

Did the forest spirits come to haunt me? Were they angry they couldn’t take my soul when I entered their home? What is going on in this insane world!

On the bright side, the other kids are leaving me alone – even Sister Mari is softer with her scolding!

On the downside, all of us are being bullied by ghosts.

xxx

Mirou died.

xxx

The wonderful owner is back! He brought a friend – a fellow priest, he told us – to bless the house. I don’t think it worked.

I miss Taka so much. He is the love of my life. Every day I wake up and think of him. I think of what we’d do and where we’d go and what games we used to play. My favourite was the one where I was a princess and he was a Samurai, ready to rescue me from the evil Oni!(couch Mari cough)

There’s this new girl in the orphanage. I don’t know her name, but she looks a lot like Sister Mari: the same hair that looked like fire, the same eyes that looked like a murky pond. She is pretty and kind. I haven’t talked to her yet but I hope I will soon.

xxx

Remember that girl I mentioned earlier? Her name’s Angela (it means angel, apparently) and she’s Sister Mari’s niece. She’ll be staying with us for the summer vacation. She’s just as kind as she looked.

We’ve been playing a lot with her dolls and we play a lot of ‘pretend’. We even dress up for it! She lent me one of her dresses! It was so nice, and I looked so pretty in it! Wish Taka could’ve played with us…

I miss him so much.

xxx

It rained at Mirou’s funeral.

xxx

Something crazy happened today. This bully from school stole you from me. I wished so hard for him to trip while he was running away and: he actually did! He tripped and you fell right into my hands! Isn’t it amazing?!

xxx

I’ve been trying to do it again. Make someone trip. No success. Maybe it was a coincidence after all? I’m a bit disappointed if it is…

xxx

I did it! I did it! I DID IT!!!!

I didn’t make someone trip, but I did throw a rock at the teacher. But wait – you would say – what’s so special about that? The rock flew through the window and I moved it WITH MY MIND!!!

I’M SO COOL

xxx

It’s been a while – a few years, really. I’ve turned 16 yesterday and remembered that I buried you in the backyard a few years ago. Crazy how life gives you a means to cope when you need it.

I’ve been looking back at my previous entries and I must admit, I winced at the grammar. Horrifying. Disgusting. Barbaric.

A lot of things have happened since.

I learned some English, not very good; however, I _can_ ask for the bathroom when needed, so that would be a plus. I still hate math though. It doesn’t make any sense! Because of it I couldn’t pass 7th grade the first time around, and now I risk repeating 8th grade too! Fuck math! It’s embarrassing that my classmates are 2 or even 3 years younger than me!

Sister Mari’s turned into an oni! I swear she eats the misbehaving children! Haven’t seen Tsuna in such a long time it has to be true! It’s like she’s angry with the world itself. She shouts if you’re not doing what she wants when she wants and even if you’re doing it, she still finds something to screech at you about! It’s ridiculous!

She absolutely loathes me. She told me herself: “The day you leave here will be the best day of my life, you dirty brat!”

Maybe it had something to do with ‘accidentally’ tripping and dropping my soup on her, but I digress.

She doesn’t like me. She doesn’t like my long, shiny, beautiful black hair; she hates the earring in my left ear and she absolutely loathes when I put on lipstick. She keeps on raiding my clothes box to throw away the tubes – joke’s on her, I just steal hers (and really, she’s a nun, is she even allowed to use them?).

On a sadder note, and why I’m writing here in the first place, I’m one out of five children left in the orphanage. The rest? Adopted. Gone. I’m jealous. Very, very jealous. What did they have that I didn’t? Why were they picked, but I wasn’t? It’s not fair! I’ve been here the longest, so I should’ve been the first to leave! It’s not fair!

I know I’m not loved. I know I’m alone. I hate it. I hate it so much.

Sometimes, I dream of picking a random direction and just walking – endlessly – until I found a person who would give me love and affection and hug me when I want to.

Anyway. I’m sad. I read in a “self-help” book in the local library that writing helps – it gets your emotions out, like you’re relaxing your spirit. That’s why I remembered you existed. That’s why I dug you up.

I need you.

xxx

In my last entry, I forgot to tell you how awesome I actually am. If you remember – which you definitely do, just look some pages back – I’ve got magical, mystical, mythical superpowers!

I can move shit with my mind!

Well, not actual shit, but I guess I could do that too if I wanted to.

It started when I managed to hit my math teacher with a rock (Suck it, Sensei!). From there, I started my awesome mythical wizard training. Every chance I got I willed something to go flying – and they did! Only after some hard concentration at first, though. The more I did it, the easier it got and the less headaches I received as punishment for failing.

I really want to become a superhero! That’s why I’ve been honing my skills in the arts of making shit fly around fast – so far, it mostly works with rocks and pencils, but I’m slowly building my way up to cars! I want to be a superhero like the ones on TV! I want to defeat bad guys and help grannies get their purses back from robbers and save babies from burning buildings!

That way, maybe the people I save will tell me: “Thank you! Oh wonderful, beautiful Ninja Night Mage (my hero name)! Thank you for existing!”

xxx

The ninja part of my superhero training isn’t going well. I suck. I tried climbing a tree without hands and I broke my pinkie. Naruto lied to me… such betrayal, I haven’t felt since

Anyway, my pinkie finger on my right foot is broken, so I can’t walk fast anywhere – or long distances for that matter.

I get to skip school!Yay? It’s so boring around here though, so I picked up drawing. I’ve been trying to copy some of the women on a magazine I found a few years ago, but, honestly, my drawings look like blobs. No better way to describe them.

Hope my finger will heal soon. Sister Mari is too annoying to listen to on a constant basis.

xxx

I ran away. Or wobbled away. Point is, the orphanage is a distant part of my past now. I had to. I was scared. Sister Mari saw me lifting you with my awesome powers. She didn’t think they were that awesome.

“Devil! Devil child! I knew there was something wrong with you!” she kept on chanting. She locked me in the room and went away to call someone on the phone – it was hard to make out who through the wood, but I didn’t want to stick around to find out.

I stole a backpack (bright pink, because I wasn’t paying attention) and shoved you in there with a shirt and some pants – I definitely forgot socks and underwear though, so that sucks.

With my heart in my throat all the way, I climbed through the window – no shoes, unfortunately – and wobbled my way across town, through the darkness. I ended up in the train station after what felt like at least an hour and managed to sneak onto a cargo train. I also found out that uncooked wheat makes me sneeze.

So far so good though. Haven’t been found out by anyone.

Goodbye Fujikawaguchiko

xxx

I’m in Tokyo. It’s like a dream and a nightmare come true at the same time. The city is lit with life. Like a flame, heat going in all directions and eating everything it encounters, this city is the same: alive, fierce and furious.

It’s great and beautiful, full of monstrously big buildings and colourful advertisements. And the fashion! The Fashion! My friend! The fashion is spectacular! I envy the people – gorgeous, confident people – who waltz around in colourful clothes and frilly dresses and bright makeup. Most of them you can observe in Akihabara and Kabukichō, as I noticed in the months I’ve spent here.

The weather is getting colder. I have a feeling winter is closing in on me and I must admit I couldn’t be more unprepared. Day to day, month after month, I’ve been ghosting around the humongous city, trying to find a place for myself. Nothing. There’s nothing.

I started wondering if I should’ve left at all. Maybe it was better in Fujikawaguchiko, even if Sister Mari believed me due for an exorcism.

From day one, I stuck out like a sore thumb even among the colourful people. My clothes got dirty fast and I started smelling unpleasant. The fact that one of my feet were clinking because of the thumb cast every time I stepped didn’t reduce the wide-eyed stares. My pants were growing holes from sleeping on rough benches and in bushes and my shirt was about the same, with an added nastiness from sweat. My hair was just horrid.

I was starving.

I never stole, though, no matter what the police officers chasing me believed. When I got hungry, I sat my bag – open – on a crowded street, and just started doing tricks with my powers. I got some money and curious looks, but never stayed there for too long. The police don’t like me much because I keep on doing that.

They caught me once, when I was so tiered, I fell asleep on a bench in broad daylight:

“Look, kid, just give us your address so we can take you back home.” The fat one told me. “Your parents must be worried sick.”

The good looking one was throwing me looks of disgust over his partner’s shoulder.

I didn’t say anything. I just froze, letting them drag me over to their car and hauling me in the back seat. Before they entered the car, somehow – even I’m not sure how, even with my powers – I made the door open and sprinted to freedom.

But…was it truly freedom?

xxx

I turned 17. At one point. Sometime. I don’t know. I don’t have a calendar. I’m so alone

xxx

Dear diary,

I think I just got a sugar daddy.

What the fuck.


End file.
